Category: philosophy

DemiCon

The beauty of science fiction conventions are friends, new and old, participating in the geekiness we generally get sideways glances for from the rest of the population. Case in point: chatting with some costumed people in the hotel lobby Friday night, we saw several groups in town for the Drake Relays staring at us. We can tell them by their matching track outfits, several with school logos emblazoned on them.

I suppose they can tell us by our nontraditional attire. You don’t see belly dancers, Klingons, steampunk, and other costumes mingling together on normal days, I suppose. Too bad!

My daughter went with me for a couple hours. She charmed everyone with her antics, but naptime came fast. Which was good for me, because I was getting tired of chasing her around.

I got to spend time with some authors, I’m sure I didn’t remember all of them running around the Con, but here’s a short list: Lettie Prell, Tom Ashwell, Sarah Prineas, Glen Cook, Karen Bovenmyer, and Mary Eagan. I know I’m missing a few, but I’m sure they’ll forgive me.

Part of the programming was “Speed Dating for Authors” – and I got outed as an author just in time to participate. A lot of fun, but I think it needs a little better description. I think everyone who participated would do it again. Thought it makes me wonder what’s the best way to give them something to remember me by – is it a flyer, a card, a bookmark, or something else I haven’t considered? Space considerations also factor in. You can certainly put quite a bit of information on an 8×11 sheet of paper, but what’s to stop someone from folding it and sticking it somewhere she won’t find it again? A business card has the advantage of being easy to put in a pocket and not getting left somewhere accidentally. And a lot of Con-goers have nice badge holders that allow for the tucking in of business cards.

Such a nice weekend, but all good things must end. It’s good to be reminded to come back to the blog. I got a lot of ideas at the Con and a few afterward, too. Can’t say they’re good yet, but at least something’s percolating in there.

When was the last time you attended a Con? What did you take away from it?

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Remember.

What are the words that stick in your mind, long after you’ve read or heard them? What is it that makes them so poignant, so potent, so apt to pop in the forefront when least expected?

Funerals bring back little phrases mentioned about my loved ones. They also tumble different ideas in my head like dice in a cup. One example: my eldest uncle lamenting his utter hopelessness at musical endeavors. It might seem funny to be the subject at a funeral of my grandmother, but music was central to the person she was. Sometimes those gifts don’t pass to the kids, I suppose. Remind me of that when my daughter’s old enough to actually play an instrument, and not simply plucking the guitar pick out of my hand and into my mouth for giggles.

I write stories, novels, sometimes poetry, and – even rarer – lyrics. It’s not the first thing on my mind that I’m going to change someone’s life by the words I put to [digital] paper, that’d be pretty cool. How amazing would it be to have people quote me years from now? To be remembered after I’m no longer here? To have my work assigned in a class?

Yeah, I know. When I dream, I dream big. That’s not altogether a bad thing. It keeps me reaching for bigger and better things. Do you ever think about what drives you to do the things you do? Why is it that some things are simply what you do because you have to – like buying groceries or working for a boss you despise – and some things are what you do because you need to, in order to be the person you are? What if you never find that inner desire to do something, to be somebody, to make a difference?

Some people are fulfilled in small ways and others reach for larger ones. Does that make either one bad? No, it simply keeps us all from being the same. [Which, nobody asked me, but I think would be pretty boring.] Some of us can reach our goals and the rest of us will endlessly strive for something more.

The pursuit of happiness takes many of us outside our door in the morning and home again at night. Success isn’t what will bring happiness, and neither will money. At least, not for most of us.

Remember the dreams of children. Sure, they want to be rich and famous, but they also want all that as part of something they love to do. Must be why one third the populace has dreamed of being a singer at some point – because it’s fun.

I might be in the relentless pursuit of words that are worth remembering. It might also be true that I’m chasing down a feisty toddler who jumps off the furniture and generally has no fear. Keeps life interesting. Whatever the goal of the day, I hope to follow my heart and do my best to achieve it. I hope the same for you – and if we’re not here tomorrow, that we can be fondly remembered.

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Closing and Changing

The Borders bookstore near me is closing. It’s across the street from Half Price Books and a block down from Barnes & Noble. The HPB moved down the street last year (maybe half a mile), but otherwise all of them had occupied close quarters for years.

It’s sad to have it close. I love the coupons from Borders Rewards that kept me going in and out of the store more often than I would have. So what is it that’s changed for the rest of the store that means it has to close? Is it just more of the “future” of the publishing industry where we’re moving toward e-books and away from printed paper books? I know Borders isn’t closing everywhere, but it’s more than just here.

And what does this mean for those of us who still want to get those traditional publishing contracts – to be in the brick and mortar stores?

What about the libraries? Do you still go check out enough books for them to keep buying? Are we going to get to a place where you need to read everything online? How will we share that with the kids too small to care for the electronic devices? How will we keep the rich detail from the picture books on such small screens?

Do we expect the toddlers to not dismantle the devices? Just yesterday I found the keys my daughter ripped from my laptop at 6 months of age. Who needs home and control, right? I must admit the iPad is nice for her to play around with, except for the excess of fingerprints and other marks she leaves over the surface.

I suppose one thing to look forward to is the child-centered devices may begin reading the stories to kids. Then there will be studies upon studies about how it isn’t the best way for them to absorb the language (without a native speaker to show how the words are formed with the mouth and to keep the child’s attention focused) until at least the age of 3. We’ll begin the debate of whether it’s better to have the child with books rather than yet another animated movie and point fingers at each other for the digital babysitters. (Really, how else do you manage to shower when you’re alone with a small, mobile, curious child?)

The change also hits the authors in their marketing. Marketing is a struggle no matter how you look. Word of mouth about your words, whether in the bookstore or online or any other manner, doesn’t work the way you intend. Somehow a few of us have recognizable names and the rest of us languish in obscurity.

Do future writers still dream old ideas for success? I’m sure some of us do – just as I’m certain some of us are floundering among the changing landscape, searching for the best path to take. Self-publishing has never been easier, but it’s difficult to stand out from the masses and their largely disappointing reputation.

P.S. I apologize for the extended absence. One of my part-time jobs takes more time than I like to admit. I’m enjoying my break and working on getting organized – which includes more time writing and blogging.

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Facilitator for the Writing Group?

I’ve been a member of one writing group or another for about four years. I’ll admit to having run one online, and while I like setting the rules – it’s always another matter to enforce them without upsetting the group in question. Dynamics between any group of people are often fragile and must be tended with care.

In my writing group, I admit I’ve been gone awhile. I’ve attended twice in the last three months due to other commitments. I’ve been working on getting those rotated out of my Saturdays again, and there are a few uncertainties about the coming year that I hope will be resolved soon.

Last Saturday, I was the facilitator since the “real” leader was gone. It was bad weather. The other veteran of the group didn’t mind if I took over, so I did. I attempted to keep everyone on track. All participants did get to read and comment. I only banged the table once for attention, and my meeting ADHD kicked in one other time when things seemed to get off track.

Then I got an email with some proposed new rules for the group, and it explained that I was the new facilitator for the next year. Uhm, wow?! I don’t know how they decided that was a good idea, though I am capable of the position. I’m just not always the nicest to deal with and I will stick by the rules of the group. In my online group, sometimes that meant I had to have difficult conversations to get members to do what they were supposed to do.

It must seem like a lot of time when we have three hours to read and discuss writings, but really, it isn’t. There are often at least eight or ten of us, which means only about 20 minutes each. When a person brings part of a novel, explains for a minute or three where the passage is, reads the passage, and the other members comment… it could easily be 45 minutes before we look up again. I know our group once spent half an hour discussing six words that one man presented to us. (Amazing discussion and I hope to see him again soon!)

So the new rules have three issues for me. One, that there is a somewhat arbitrary page count that isn’t consistent. That’s a little thing, and easily remedied by assessing word count. Two, that no one will ever be told to read first the next time. There are twenty-five people on our email list, and while most of them do not show up on a regular basis there is still the possibility of it happening. We’ll never be able to listen to anywhere close to that many in a single session, and what other option is there except to have them go first the next time? That is how a different group I’m in handles it, but they routinely have twenty or more show up. Three, the new rules state no children may be present. It doesn’t state exactly how old is old enough to attend the group, but this one really bothers me.

It’s not an issue about a baby-sitter or the difficulty of getting one on a Saturday. My husband gets to hang out with our daughter every other Saturday. During football season the game is on. The rest of the time they find things to do. Twice I had to take her to the group with me, because something came up at the last minute. I prefer not to take her because she can be a distraction, but it’s been my choice. A good friend of mine brings her six year old, who is much better behaved than my twenty month old toddler.

So if I rarely bring my daughter, why is it such a sticking point? I take her to my weekday group in Iowa City. We miss the gym that day to drive two hours each way to listen to some really wonderful women writers and get some feedback. They’re amazed to see how much my little girl has changed and celebrate the little one. I love that my daughter gets to enjoy the atmosphere of that kind of group. It should be up to me. I like that she gets that kind of exposure to the written and spoken word. I like to have the choice. As she gets older and better able to sit through those meetings, I might take her with me more. It’s not about a stray curse word in stories or content she may or may not understand. It’s simply the experience.

I know this doesn’t take into account that people may not be comfortable with what they’re reading, and then might become self-conscious with young ears listening. Seriously, with their parents, how could they not have already heard these words? It could give a parent a teaching moment to explain why we talk about these things in books and stories when we wouldn’t use them in everyday life. It might be a good time to talk about some of those situations in a less personal manner.

It also might not, but I always have good intentions. “The Road to Hell…” and all that.

So I’m waiting for an answer, to see if I’m really the new facilitator, and then to see how much these new rules are one person or the entire group wanting change. I suppose there’s always the possibility of splintering the group. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I think the group has a lot of good qualities, but change is never easy – even when it’s good.

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In Remembrance

Be prepared. The following post probably isn’t about what you think, since it’s Veteran’s Day. So, first, a thank you to the veterans who served our country and keep us free. Second, happy anniversary to my parents. Third, a random blog post that caught my eye on my way to blog this morning about being free.

When I started this blog, I was at home full time trying to be a writer. I succeeded at the writing bit, at least, and I have at least rough drafts of a couple novels to prove it. I enjoyed posting here and I tried to do it once a day.

One of the writers who strongly encouraged me was Jamie Eyberg, may he rest in peace. We’d attended the same small school in southwestern Iowa and he found me on Facebook when I joined. It was nice to have someone to talk to about that writing stuff, especially since my husband just doesn’t get it. Jamie commented frequently, either directly here or sending me a message.

I think I’ve just been avoiding posting here since he died. Yes, a ton of other things get in the way, but they always do. Motherhood and part-time jobs keep me running in circles all day. One of them – teaching at a college – has usurped far too much time. I hear the first time teaching any class is like that.

Other people do read this blog, and maybe someone else won’t be afraid to make comments and keep up the dialogue. I appreciate all of you who have commented and watch for my updates.

I’m not doing NaNo this year, due to my other commitments. However, I’m starting to get myself writing by bits and pieces again. I don’t know how I let myself get so derailed from the process. I haven’t been to a writer’s group of any kind in over two months.

All of that is changeable. Saturday’s another meeting in West Des Moines. I can keep scribbling out pieces when I get breaks, or rather make breaks to keep up my scribbling (or even random typing).

Admitting the part that’s holding me back is just one step to getting back to where I need to be. So, I’m accepting that I’ve been shirking my blog. I promise to post more often, at least once a week. At least until I can get that daily vibe back.

Happy NaNo to everyone attempting it this year. A novel in a month is always a happy thing, even if it needs severe rewriting. Don’t forget to keep going until it’s finished and don’t just stop at the 50,000 words!

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Is Blogging Writing?

On one hand, of course it is. A blogger strings words together just like a fiction writer does. The words add up if you’re writing in a blog or a story or a novel.

But if you’re counting words toward a goal, I always wonder if I should have blogging in a different category as those other projects. One thousand words toward my blog, especially like I’ve been posting lately, could give me over a week’s worth of small blurbs. Usually it’s only two if I write them ahead, but it gets away from me.

So if it doesn’t count, how do we keep track of it? One of my friends is really good at quantifying goals: she’s always commenting about how you should make a goal and know how you’ll attain it with specifics. IT’s not enough to lose weight as a goal; there should be a target weight, a date when you think you’ll get to that target, and some sort of tracking so you can see your progress.

Seems a little hard core, right? Except that when I try her methods, I get things done. The mental list in my head that nags me about the dishes and stops when they’re clean isn’t as satisfying as crossing that item off my written (on paper) list. It’s a similar feeling with a digital list, but I haven’t found the handy device to cart with me around the house in orer to house this list. Sure, I have a laptop and a netbook and my husband’s iPod Touch is hanging around, but I generally eschew those distractions when I get to my house cleaning.

I find it best especially because a blank piece of paper is inviting enough to put notes for a story on, or even little snippets. An entire digital device? Too tempting to quit my thoughts of tidying the house and get lost in a book.

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Time Flies

The old saying is when you’re having fun, but I’m sure it’s more accurate to say when you’re not paying attention to it.

So I haven’t been paying much attention to it lately. And it’s really hard to keep track of. My daughter’s running around the house; she gets into everything. Just because she didn’t bother it yesterday doesn’t mean it isn’t the most intriguing thing in the room today.

I think she’s also stolen away my muse to play with. So I’ve been taking a lot of notes and placing them in files and bound books. Perhaps soon they’ll gel together better than they have been running rampant through my head.

There’s no guarantee, though. Now I just won’t forget them since I have the reference.

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The Book or the Movie: My Sister’s Keeper

I finally got a chance to see the movie. I read the book by Jodi Picoult a few years ago. Both are good, and both have different endings. I’m a little disappointed by Hollywood’s changing of the end, but it’s good to know that the author has nothing to do with it.

I must remind myself to read that again if I ever have a book that gets made into a movie. Or the next time I go see a movie after reading the book.

My husband told me the new ending made the movie open to a larger audience. I’m still wondering why. He didn’t read the book; he had only my explanation of the differences.

One thing I really enjoyed from a writer’s perspective about this book was that each chapter has a different point of view – and all of it is written in first person. Sometimes, especially during the first chapter of a character we haven’t read, it takes a moment to adjust. I found it intriguing, and it kept me hooked throughout the book.

The central theme is devoted to Anna’s medical emancipation. Her sister Kate had a rare form of leukemia and their parents created Anna as a medical match. What began as a reach for cord blood became a seemingly endless list of other procedures until Anna begins a lawsuit to take control of her body.

I imagined someone very different from Alec Baldwin as the attorney. Not to say he didn’t do a good job- the entire cast sparkled.

Then my husband’s comments come back to me, and I wonder why Hollywood wouldn’t keep the original ending. Who knows what they really want? Both endings were happy and bittersweet in their own ways. And in both of them, Anna wins her lawsuit.

The differences don’t stop me from recommending them, though. They’re thought-provoking and touching.

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A Way to Beat Writer’s Block

Ever heard of plinky.com?

Every day plinky sends out a prompt or challenge. Today’s is “What’s guaranteed to make your roll your eyes?”

It’s an interesting idea. Some of them are more writerly compared to the personal one above. “Fictionalize a real argument you’ve had. Write only in dialogue.”

Some verge on the silly: “Write a haiku about the last meal you ate.”

For someone struggling with ideas to write about, it might help. (I know someone’s going to point me in that direction for my lack of entries this month, but I’ve been busy.)

What do all these prompts give you? If someone answers them all, it’s going to give a lot of information about that person. I’m not sure I agree with their use of the word memoir, simply because a memoir is about a specific time in a person’s life. An autobiography tells all, while the memoir is focused around a specific event. Example: A memoir could cover lessons learned during the college years or a difficult pregnancy or surviving a specific round of office politics.

But a prompt by itself isn’t going to get you too far. You can write a one-sentence answer if you choose, like for today’s: “Bad jokes are guaranteed to make me roll my eyes.” It takes a little effort to make it work for an entire blog post. A fictionalized story, a chapter of a memoir (or an autobiography), a detailed description – any of these will take more than a sentence to do well.

And there’s nothing to say you can’t pick and choose, and blog about other things in the middle. It all depends on the purpose of the blog. Don’t have a purpose to the blog? Now that’s trouble!

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Why Do You Do What You Do?

I vaguely remember when I was five – I wanted to be a bus driver. It was one of those passing fancies. I don’t remember if it was driving the big vehicle around the town or picking up and dropping off all the people, but that was what I wanted to do. For at least a week.

There were random other thoughts between that time and when I started thinking seriously about The Future. When do we think we’re old enough to decide what we really want to do For A Living? And why do we think we have to focus on one career?

Some careers, like medicine, may very well need that kind of emphasis. When you go to the doctor, you want to have an expert, right? Well, I see a doctor who adjusts my back who also has a photography hobby – and they sell. I might even buy one at some point, but I love waiting in the rooms with his pictures. [Even the one with the pink flowers.]

Maybe it’s part of the mentality of ‘jack of all trades, master of none.’ It might be true that a person will never master a subject by flitting from this to that. But what about the people who don’t necessarily know what they want to do, or can’t support themselves doing it? And I suppose we also have to consider the lowly jobs we take to pay the bills that were never what someone would choose to do.

On the other hand, there’s a certain appeal to me for something like a toll booth operator. During the slow times, I’d have a notebook or laptop or something and be writing. Well, at some point I’m sure I’d rewrite and edit and do all that other stuff.

I get asked a lot how I go from a career in engineering to staying at home as a mom and writing books. I think it’s only because people aren’t accustomed to people who are good at math and English; so many times a person is strong in one or the other. My husband can’t spell to save his life. When out with my friends, I often split the bill because I can do the math without breaking into a sweat or punching it into the calculator.

But I’m still curious when we start with our little dreams and go to The Future Career. Are we really given the tools to prepare in high school? How many kids know what most jobs do, and how many dream jobs are difficult to break into? When did we decide we’d major in Underwater Basket Weaving (code in my parent’s household for a major where no one could land a paying job) and then wonder why we couldn’t pay the bills?

What about when you study to be an engineer, like a girl I knew in college, and decide a semester before you graduate you don’t want to do it? She was a waitress, then became a bookkeeper.

How much of what we do defines us as people, versus the things we do outside our jobs? Do you dabble in different things to know who you are and what you like? I tend to dabble, if only because it amuses me when other people say they’re bored. I can’t say I play guitar well, but I know a few songs. I read books about anything that captures my fancy, figuring at some point knowing how to knit might serve me well – even if I only do rectangular things like scarves and dishcloths.

Being a dabbler also means I have many hobby items that lay untouched for periods of time, like the harmonica and the bead board and the calligraphy pens. I’m not sure any of it defines me.

I’m also not always sure how to answer the question of what I do. If I’m a stay-at-home mother, I ought to have an awesome home and that would be my focus. That’s a stretch, though I do put effort into it. If I’m a tutor, I’d have teaching plans and ideas about that, but I don’t always. If I’m a writer, I spend most of my time shaping words into the ideas I wish to convey.

Haha, I’m probably a writer, but I retain a few technical skills and an ever-widening domestic ability. I’m still at a loss for what that means. One day it might come out in a story, but I’d probably have mixed so much fiction into it no one will know which parts are true, including me.

And I won’t lie, I like it that way.

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